“K-I-S-S-I-N-G”
I had just moved back to college after scoring a job that would pay my rent, tuition, and food for the fall semester. I was living with some great girls that have amazing testimonies and we were all lifting each other as quickly and securely as we could. One of my roommates in particular, BigRed, changed my life for the better very quickly. These girls and I were in a “temporary” roommate situation. We were only going to live with each other for about a month before the new semester started- and at that point who knew if we’d all stay together.
BigRed is a quirky, fun, spit fiery red head with amazing curly hair. She served a mission in South
America and encouraged my Spanglish habits. When I moved back I was actually preparing to serve a mission. I had talked to my singles ward bishop back home and had decided that I was ready to do something powerful with my life. I remember having vivid dreams about teaching and bearing testimony… I was sure that is what I was supposed to do with my life. Because of this I was taking the temple prep classes again and preparing to receive my endowments. She was such strength to me as we spoke of the Gospel and she shared her own missionary experiences.
On Tuesday August, 11th 2009 I was supposed to go out with the sister missionaries on campus. They were going to meet at my apartment and I was going to go to a few appointments with them. I left work early and was dressed waiting in my Sunday clothes at the appointed hour…. Two hours past when the sisters were supposed to come over BigRed barged through our front door hollering to see if anyone was home. When she saw me sitting on the couch she asked what I was up to. I told her that I thought the sisters forgot about me and she laughed and told me that I was now going with her to the dollar theater with a huge group from campus. I called a few friends and invited them along as well.
One of my guy friends (Guy A) came over to ride with us, and a boy that I’d been on a few dates with (Guy B) was meeting us there. When we got inside I “met” the future Dr. Q. We all went around the circle and introduced ourselves to the group of 20+ young single adults- but to be honest I was a little distracted. When I went to buy my ticket I found out that “Guy A” had already bought my ticket. And when I went to get a drink from the concession stand “Guy B” stepped up and paid for it and then bought a large popcorn for us to share.
Once inside the theater I tried to squeeze in next to BigRed, but “Guy A” sat down between her and I, and then “Guy B” sat on the other side of me… considering I was just planning a night out with friends I was kind of freaking out. I had no idea how to handle the attention and didn’t want to lead either of the guys on. As soon as the theater went dark they both put their hands- palms up- on the arm rests… so I sat with my arms folded for the rest of the movie. I’m a “movie talker” and can’t keep my mouth shut during a feature film – so I was adding my own commentary to the movie and if I said something to “Guy A” then “Guy B” would lean over and ask “what?” and vice versa. Lucky for me, my roommate had a better time than I did and hit it off with the two guys sitting next to her (Dr. Q and his roommate).
BigRed and I were supposed to have our first night of soccer practice and both “Guy A” and “Guy B” were planning on playing on our team. We booked it pretty quick to go change for practice and Dr. Q and his roommate walked out with us. BigRed thought quickly on her feet and invited them to play with us. That night we had the whole team together and had a great time playing, laughing, and goofing off as the boys tried to teach me the basics of a sport I’d never played. I vaguely remember Dr. Q playing but I’m a fairly competitive person and when I play sports I pretty much block everything else out.
Each Thursday night in the weeks leading up to the new semester the stadium was overrun with college kids playing soccer. A few of my girl friends and I went down to the field to “meet soccer boys” and we basically rocked it! I ended up on Dr. Q’s team again and we talked for a bit during the game. Before he left I got his phone number, along with his roommate's and told them I’d let them know when I was playing soccer again.
The next morning I woke up really late and didn’t have time to get cute before work- but I wasn’t too worried because I did home health and hospice care and I didn’t need to impress anyone. I was still in the soccer clothes from the night before and my hair was up in a headband- and there wasn’t a trace of make up on my face. And just my luck – that was the day my client asked me to run errands for her. But it was early in the day- and most of my friends wouldn’t be in Wal-Mart before noon so I hurried to get all the things on her list. As I rushed through the store one of the employees threw me a hundred dollar smile and shouted “Oh! Hi!” I had NO IDEA who this guy was and just kept walking. When I was done with my shopping I went to the cash register to pay- and that odd young man was at the next register over talking to another employee- I caught a glimpse of his name tag and realized he was Dr. Q’s roommate. As I got in the car I sent him a text telling him sorry I didn’t say hi and that I hope he had a good day at work…. But being ME, I over thought what I’d said and convinced myself that if I didn’t text Dr. Q as well that they might think I was interested in his roommate – and I sure as heck wasn’t interested in ANYONE.
So I told Dr. Q that a group of us were getting together to play soccer that night and asked if they wanted to join us. He texted back right away and said he would be there. And then, just like usual if you have plans outdoors - it started raining. Long story short- that night we tried to play anyway but everyone got cold and hungry so we all went to Taco Bell. Dr. Q ended up driving my best friend’s younger brothers and they loved him. I didn’t know it then- but that night they told their dad that I better marry Dr. Q because he was so great!
It was “my weekend” at work and I worked all day Saturday and part of the day on Sunday- but I did get to see Dr. Q and get to know him better that day. When I got to sacrament meeting that morning he and his roommate sat next to me. He says it’s because I was the only person they knew – but I know the truth! Its ‘cause I’m so darn cute! After sacrament meeting I zoomed to work – but I was off two hours later when everyone else got out of church. I texted my roommates asking them what the afternoon plan was and they told me I had to decide because I was “the social one” in our apartment. We went back and forth bantering trying to decide whose turn it was to plan our fun for the afternoon and then Dr. Q texted me inviting our apartment over for a potluck.
Defeated, I texted my roomies back and told them I had our afternoon planned and that they better think of yummy food for dinner.
I got home and we quickly made BBQ chicken and other random goodies to bring over to the guys apartment and much to our surprise we were the only girls they invited. We ate, sun bathed on the grass, played Frisbee, and giggled until it hurt. I had to run back to work to put my client in bed and when I got off I called them to find out where they were. Turns out they went to our apartment and made cookies and now they were headed to a friend’s house to play spoons and other games. I told them I’d meet them there but they insisted they’d wait. When I got home and changed, they were all piling in one car (6 of them!) so I said I could drive too – but again they all insisted I just ride with them. Dr. Q (that sly dog) opened the door on his side and I was coerced into sitting practically on his lap the whole drive.
When we got to the party house I was determined not to flirt with any one guy in particular. I was still preparing for a mission and did not want distracted. But Dr. Q sat next to me and we ended up chatting most of the night. After that we went back to our apartment and played Scum until curfew. When the boys left my roommates all started in on me.... Do you like him? Are you going to go on a date with him? I told them I wasn’t getting attached and that was final. (Famous last words, eh?)
Monday at FHE we met up and ended up talking all night about former relationships and common ground between us. Turned out he was practically engaged too and that we had similar experiences. I found out he was an actor and that he had been in a musical with one of my best friends from high school. We went to play soccer again that night after FHE. “Guy B” was there too and was aggressively pursuing a relationship. So when Dr. Q tripped I ran over to give him a big hug and make sure he was okay… I think that’s when “Guy B” got the hint. Dr. Q had hurt his finger really bad so he ended up sitting on the sideline with one of my best friends. She was moving into my apartment in the coming weeks for the new semester and we’d known each other since we were fourteen – she’s like a sister to me. Anyways- they finally started complaining that it was too cold out and the three of us went back to my apartment. I made hot chocolate and we put on a movie. I guess it didn’t take long for me to fall asleep and they spent the next hour or so until curfew talking. They woke me up when they were getting ready to go home and I half asleep apologized- explaining that I start work each morning between 6 and 7 and I was WIPED. They laughed, gave me hugs, and went on their merry ways.
About fifteen minutes after they left Dr. Q texted me asking if I’d like to go see a movie with him the next night and I said that sounded like fun. After hearing his story, I wasn’t concerned about getting serious with him. He’d just gotten out of a bad relationship and I was sure that we could just be good friends that sometimes went on dates… boy was I wrong!
The next day, Tuesday, We went to see a movie in the dollar theater (X-Men Wolverine) and I don’t know what came over me, but I tried to hold his hand. It must have REALLY taken him by surprise because he actually flicked my hand away. I was a little discouraged and a lot embarrassed. Why was I letting a boy get the best of me? I was supposed to be focused on mission prep. But somehow after that night we were inseparable.
I tried to make excuses for the amount of time we were spending together- we talked a TON about missionary work and I told him all about how much I wanted to serve and that I loved helping the sister missionaries back home and that I just knew Heavenly Father needed me somewhere to preach His gospel message. But it seemed no matter how much I told myself I wasn’t interested, or that we were just friends, or that he was only spending so much time with me because he was helping me learn about being a missionary – I was definitely falling for him.
That Friday night I was at his apartment complex and we were watching a movie with some friends. We may have gotten a little cuddly, and he asked if we were exclusive- but I told him no, that I was getting ready for a mission and didn’t want to get serious with anyone. As it neared curfew he walked me to my car and gave me a hug. When he got to my car he asked if he could kiss me. I know, half of you are swooning “how romantic!” and the other half are saying “he did WHAT?!?” Looking back now I can see how tender and sweet his request was. He let me know that he cared for me and was interested- but I’d never been asked that before and I’m all for the element of surprise and tension when it comes to a good kiss, so I said no and went home.
That night I got home and told my roommates that he’d asked if we were exclusive and I told him no. One of them yelled at me and locked me in my room. She told me I wasn’t to come out until I prayed about a decision that important. I sat on my bed and tried to tell myself I was going on a mission and that was that. I didn’t NEED to pray about it because I already knew the answer. But somewhere deep down what my roommate had said rang true. It was an important decision. And I did need to know what the Lord wanted me to do. Phrases from blessings I’d received months earlier kept racing through my mind.
“The opportunity to date is near”
“Don’t be afraid to date again”
“Choose wisely the men you will date”
“The Lord has prepared another worthy young man for you”
And I decided I did need to pray about dating Dr. Q. As I became peaceful and focused my mind I could feel the warm hug of my Heavenly Father around me. I said a simple prayer and asked if I was supposed to date him and within moments I heard a voice. A deep, familiar voice.
“Didn’t I tell you I’d send you someone?”
And that was it. In that moment I knew I was supposed to not only date Dr.Q, but that I was probably going to marry him.
The next morning he and I had planned to donate plasma together for supplemental income. And we went down bright and early to the Plasma Center- but evidently you have to have your social security card to register, which neither of us had thought to bring. So we went to Jack in the Box, walked around the park and then went to my apartment and watched some of movies. At some point I realized I wanted to kiss him too and so I turned and gave him a peck on the cheek. He turned to look at me with a grin on his face and we kissed for the first time. It was my dream first kiss. Simple, sweet, and tender. The kind of kiss I’d always dreamed of getting from the man that would steal my heart away. I must have confused the poor boy so badly. But I finally had a very clear vision of my future- and he was definitely part of it.
That night I prayed to Heavenly Father for confirmation that I was truly ready to enter another relationship and begged Him to soften Dr. Q’s heart and let him see past all my short comings. I promised Heavenly Father I would be upfront and honest with him and that I would not play “mind games” or try to impress him- but rather I’d just be myself and I prayed that Dr. Q would be willing to do that same.
The next morning at church he sat by me again and we held hands in sacrament meeting. After church a huge group of friends came to our apartment for a potluck dinner and games. After things settled down that evening we took a walk with another couple down to the park. It was starting to rain and set the mood perfectly as I was petrified to do what I was about to do.
I let the other couple get way ahead of us and I stopped under a big tree. I gave him a hug and looked up into his eyes and told him that I thought he was amazing. I told him that the reason I was scared to be in a relationship is I was worried that he wouldn’t want to be with me once he got to know me better and that I did come with a unique set of baggage, but that if he could look beyond my past- that I’d do the same for him and under that condition, I’d change my answer if he were to ask about our exclusivity... I don’t think he quite understood what I was saying but he kissed me on the forehead and we continued walking. All of the sudden he stopped dead in his tracks- turned to look at me and asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. I said yes and we kissed in the rain! I felt like I was walking on air and I decided from there on out- it was all in God’s hands.
("Way Back Wednesday" is a portion of Divinity & Diapers where I will be posting a bit of our family's history and background.)
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